Havent been on her in about 2 years... A lot has happened, I went on a 3rd tour to Iraq, made it home, dealt with more drama than I wanted to durring the entire process.  I am out of the army now, and I was thinking about a lot of stuff... Soldiers, FIrefighters, Police Officers, everyone who had given ther life or who have lost someone in the line of Duty.  Its hard, it really is... I can say all the ones that I had come to know over the last 8 years of service to the US Army, the few that had passed on, they were all the best people I had ever known.  You ask yourself all the time, why do bad things happen to good people, while good things happen to bad people?  Because the good ones can Handle it, they have the stones, the courage, and the will to stand up raise that right hand and go into a completely bad situation without any regards to themselves.  The good ones appreciate everything more and dont take it for granted, and the best of them all, pay the ultimate sacrifice so that the rest of us can enjoy everything that person stood for.  It gives us perspective, it gives us meaning, and to honor those who havebeen lost to us, makes us appreciate our own lives THAT much more.  I say to anyone who reads this, next time you're at the store, go buy a flag, and raise it high for all of those who are such outstanding heros, that they gave it all for people they didnt even know.  If you are a vet, render that salute firmly and proudly when you see that American Flag raised high.  The American economy may be down, our patriotic spirit may be wavering, but we cannot let sacrifices go in vein, and we cannot let those loved ones and heros give it all for nothing.  We as a whole need to step it all up, and fix this Nation together, because the Government isn't going to just do it.  Its never been "We the Rich", or "We the Powerful", or "We the Strong" its "WE THE PEOPLE" and now we all need to flush our differences away, and actually do something about it....

 

just a coagulation of all the thoughts going through my head this morning... thanks for reading

-Matt

My bags are packed , here I go again
Off to a foriegn country to defend
against the evils of their own sin
oh darling lass i miss you so
i pray to god you don't ever leave me alone

I'm hot and in the desert again
its been 6 months i don't think ill hear from you again
maybe its just the letters not making the trip
shit there goes another friend
i wish and pray to god ill make it through

another month and i wish you were here
the sins I've made will never dissapear
I pray to god my nightmares will cease
but i know that this is just a mental disease
if only your caring touch could feel me now

then a few weeks after that
I'm face to face with a man
i have my rifle pinned on him
and once again hes on his knees
probably praying to his deity

i squeeze the trigger as im given the order
the rifle fires as i shed a tear
the man falls over with out a fear
i wished to god i never came here
because your caring touch could heal my fears

I lost count of the men I killed
a handful here, a few over there
without a number ill never forget
the faces that died that were spent
for me to come home
I'll drink to them every night
and every day, pray for their souls.



I know its depressing, but its something that came to me, no, its not a reflection of what have done, but what friends of mine have done. War is not the answer, but I while I serve it's because it is necessary to defend MY country, beliefs, and loved ones. It came out like a poem but in my head it was like an Irish folklore, well a sad and depressing one.... But i guess I just wanted people to understand what some of us have to go through, and I thank God daily that this isn't me, but I also pray because this is how some of my Battle Buddies are, and you have to understand why they don't like to talk about it to you, not because they don't trust you, or don't love you anymore. It's because you just can't relate, and you just don't understand, so why try to explain it. Infantry men who talk about their confirmed kills, have never had one, and the ones who never speak of it after a combat tour, you don't want to ask. Tankers never wanna talk about the things they have destroyed, just like the Pilots never tell you how many targets they hit in air strikes. Its basically about what we HAVE to do, not what we WANT to do. But, one thing all good troops have in common, weather its infanrty, tanker, scout, mechanic, medic, Soldier, Marine, Sailor, Airmen... well... maybe not Airmen... is that we all have the sense to feel the need to serve, defend, and protect the nation that birthed us, brought us in, or even just schooled us. Therefore we do what must me done so Lady Liberty will stand high and proud, and pray to God, that our sins may be forgiven if were taken on the Battlefield, or at an old age when life has passed us by.

Im done depressing you for now. so heres a stupid joke.

SO, when Marines use the bathroom, they wash their hands with a LOT of soap and water, because their trained exceed the standard at all things.
Airmen wash their hands with a little soap and watter, because their trained to be conservative.
Sailors use Purell, because who wants to wash their hands with salt water?
Soldier's don't Wash their hands, we're trained not to piss on ourselves.

What is it that defines us as people, not Human beings as a species, but as a Person, what defines our individual existence? I feel that its a combination... of out actions, reactions, will, and our decisions. Being human is easy, your born with 2 legs, 2 arms, one head, and a mind that allows you to think and do whatever you want to within the limits of social acceptance, aside from a percentage, but a lot of them have issues beyond their own comprehension.

But as actions are concerned, you can figure part of a person out by their actions, to they freely go to work on their own accord, or do they wait until they are told on a daily basis? Are they usually on time, or are they constantly late? Do they do things on a daily basis to better them selves, or do they just waste oxygen? Are they what you would consider an active person, or someone simply that has no desire to do anything?

Reactions are a little tricky, can they take a joke? Do they know when its time to be serious and responsible? When they hear about a tragedy do they get concerned, do they say "i don't care", do they watch it with a smile?

In what direction does their will lean? Motivated, Determined, Loyalty, Integrity, Good, Hate, Inhumane, Just, Unjust, or plane 'ole fuck it?

How do you make your decisions? Is it based on emotion, Logic, the need to do right, the need to disrupt the norm, the need to be accepted, the need to feel beautiful, or your own selfish desire?

There are a lot more i could go into, but you really have to think about is this. When the unfortunate day that you pass on to whatever afterlife you believe in. What do you want the people you have met along the journey you call life to say about you? Would you like them to say, I never had to ask him to do things he was already accustomed to, he was rarely ever late to his devoted times and places, very active in life with his family and friends, he always reacted to a bad situation with a smile and always said, "there's always a good side to a crappy story", always knew how to take a joke, and give em right back, always cared about everyone he ever met, and was always motivated, and determined to be loyal and honest to everyone, not just the people he loved but everyone he met.

Or do you think, well he was always late, hardly ever saw him, lied to me a few times, and really didn't do much with his life. The fact that he hated just about everyone pre determined his loneliness, but he could never figure out why he was alone all the time?

So I guess the question is... why do we let ourselves get so stupid in the now we forget about tomorrow, and how there's that chance... you won't get to see it? What is the little bit extra thing YOU could do on a daily basis, so you don't have to worry about never doing it? I'm not saying go now and spend all your money on a vacation to Jamaica because you think i said your gonna die soon. I am just saying... Is there someone you see everyday that just looks down? Say hello to him/her. Is someone going through a tough time? give em a call and let them just know you had them on their mind. You would be surprised how many people around you right now are feeling emotional pain but are very good at hiding it. I know I am... the only time i let loose on here is when it comes to a bursting point and I have to let some of it out.

How about this, I DARE YOU ALL to go through your phone lists, find one to four people that you hardly ever get the chance to talk to anymore, and call them and tell them you were thinking about them and you wanted to know how and what they have been up to. Mostly because, thats something I really could have used when I got home from Iraq. Granted not everyone is a war vet, but I guarantee there is someone that could use a kind word of support, or a verbal push in the right direction, and you'd never even know it. Don't worry I'll be making my phone calls too. I actually already started a few days ago, because there are some things on my chest i need to let out, because they are actions that aren't accustomed to who I am, and I felt really guilty about them. I almost lost myself for a while there, but it took a great loss of a great man to make me realize how damn stupid I was getting.

Well thats all for now.

-Matthew Callahan